Trapped

Have you ever felt like if you were trapped,
trapped in between two different things,
trapped in between two different worlds,
each offering you something you want,
but at the same time leaving you with desires,
desires that come from part of the other one?

Have you ever felt trapped on your feelings,
knowing you like two different things,
but also knowing you have to decide for one,
and you really love that one you want to have,
but the other also have something that attracts you,
that make you wonder how far you will have to go to get it,
how much will you have to sacrifice to also have it,
by taking the risk of loosing the one that you really want?

Have you ever been trapped in between two decisions,
wanted to do something really bad but not be able to,
even though your soul cries out loud for it,
and your body feels it and push you onto it,
but you are there saying to yourself you can't do it,
that eventhough you want it so much you just can't decide,
and you just think and think about it,
knowing the decision that you take will change your life,
knowing that once you take it there could not be a way back,
that what you do will stay done and wont be forget?

I have felt trapped like that,
it is a feeling that confuses me,
that put the real me to the test,
a test of strength, desire, loyalty,
a test of values and morals,
a fight against forbidden thoughts,
against forbidden actions and desires,
a fight agains my own inner and outter self.

I have felt the pression of it on the course of my life,
sometimes it burns on the deeper of my soul,
it makes my skin wants to crawl out,
it makes me want to just run away without having to decide,
it haunts me on my dreams and follow me on my thoughts.

But only one thing brings me back to life,
one thing brings the relief my soul so much desire,
that thing is to know that i am not alone on this fight,
that millions of people fight side by side like i do,
that they try very hard and don't take loosing as an option,
that they fight for those they really love,
that they do sacrifice themself for those they so much care about,
willing to give up what their innerselves want,
and be there for those they know that do really love them,
those been their soulmates, their kids, their families and friends.

Copyright (C) 2007 German S. Benitez

En Recuerdo a Marlenys

Poema dedicado a Marlenys Valdes
Febrero 12, 2006

Mi vida cambio desde el día que yo conocí
A esa linda mujer que me hizo volver a vivir
Recuerdo aquel primer día en que yo la ví
La felicidad tan grande que me hizo sentir
Esa linda sonrisa en su carita me hizo sentir
Nuevas ganas de conquistar y ganar su admiración
Y yo solo quisiera poder ser capaz de compartir
Su felicidad con la mía en esta linda ocasión

Verla cada día me ayuda a ella poder apreciar
A amarla, quererla, ayudarla y sobre todo a respetar
Lo lindo de esta vida es que sabe compensar
Dándonos a todos la oportunidad de alguien amar
Espero que algún día ella encuentre a ese alguien especial
Seré yo el dichoso de poder su corazón conquistar?

Tú eres la única mujer especial para mí
Estoy completamente encantado de ti

Admiro tu sencillez y tu gran determinación
Mas no encuentro palabras para expresar mi emoción
Ojala que tu también compartas esta gran ilusión.

Copyright (C) 2006 German S. Benitez

Happy Because of You!

I am soo happy,
so happy to know that I have succeeded in reaching your heart,
in taking a special place on your heart and dreams,
to know once more that I am not the only one that miss you and think of you all the time,
that dreams about you and talk to others about how sweet and unique you are.

I have waited so long to hear this from you,
to know how much I mean to you too.

I know now I love you because I miss you everyday we don't talk,
because I think of you and what we have talked before,
because when I hear the phone I wish it was you before looking at it,
because I check my email everyday to see if you have sent me an email or reply to mine,
because I even dream of you sharing hands with me and walking together,
and because you inspire me to tell you what is on my mind and heart,
making me forget how shy I am.

And yes, we are not really far,
you are only living miles away from me
but about 1 sec away from my thoughts.

About your dreams, yes darling,
I can picture that plus many other great things between us in the near future,
and I will do as much as I can to make those happen,
to make you feel happy, special, loved.
I know you will also try to make me feel like that too.

Thanks for being honest,
and for being the beatiful and sweet person you are.

I love you, Samuel

Copyright (C) 2006 German S. Benitez

Had a Sad Day?

Have you ever had a day in which you want something special to happen?
But all you get is ending the day feeling sad because it did not happened,
Because the person you wanted to tell you something did not even bothered to say hi,
Or because the thing you wanted to do was not possible by X reason,
Or because something bad happened that made you feel sad and hopeless,
Or because you spent the whole day alone with no one to talk to,
Or because of any other reasons not mentioned above.

Well, we all have a day like that once in a while
It does not matter who you are,
It does not matter if you are single or not,
It does not matter if you are young or not,
It does not matter how many good or bad friends you have,
It does not matter what you try to do for avoiding it.
It will happen and it will make you feel depressed and sad.

And what can be done to make it less painful and not ruin the rest of the week?
Forget about it, it is not worth it to remember something that hurts you.
Forget that person, if she/he really cares about you she/he will try to make it up to you.
Goal or plan ruined? Make a new one, or just approach it differently and positively.
Bad things? They happen all the time, just deal with it and then let it go.
Try to be strong and have your mind occupied in something you like,
No matter if others think you don't give a fuck about what's going on around you.
Whatever you do, just don't let that one sad day screw up the rest of your week.

Copyright (C) 2006 German S. Benitez

Waiting, and waiting ,and waiting......

For me waiting sometimes hurts so much
Is like killing me slowly, painfully, when I am waiting for something to happen

Sometimes good things happen in my life but they just look and seem too good to be true,

and even though on the deepest of my heart I want to believe it and I want it to be true,

on the surface of it I dont cause I am tired of getting hurt, tired being played with,

tired of falling in love and giving the best of me and not receiving as much as I try to give up,

tired of being the nice boy that always end up being the best friend and nothing else,

or even nothing at all.

When I think live is smiling at me, most of the times it is just a matter of time before it stabs me on the back and leave me feeling like shit.

It is good that I still have great friends that love me and help me every time I go deep down below,

that I have a family that is not perfect but at least truly cares about me and how I feel and understand me,

that I try to recover myself too and try to learn from my mistakes and make myself stronger,

other wise I would fall deeper down and be lost forever

Sometimes I feel like I just want to dissapear,

or to make time go by as fast as I can,

cause I don't want to be asking myself what could happen tomorrow or what could not.

I just prefer to see it happening and thats it.

It's like I am loosing hopes on the future..............

Copyright (C) 2006 German S. Benitez